Chapter Text
Hao woke up to the tingle of sunrays on his nose and the smell of hay. He frowned, trying to turn around to catch a few more minutes of sleep, only to bump into something solid. The sheets of his bed also felt a lot less soft and a lot more scratchy than they usually did.
His eyes flew open.
Light was falling through the slits of the wooden roof of the stable, announcing the start of the day. Hanbin was lying next to him, still sound asleep. His chest was rising and falling steadily with each breath.
Hao could hardly tear his eyes away.
Memories of last night flashed through his mind. After he had found Hanbin here, they had talked for hours and hours. Hao wasn’t usually much of a talker, but with Hanbin it was surprisingly easy. They had breached sensitive topics, only then to giggle about something silly in the next second. Hanbin was surprisingly similar to him, but just different enough to make Hao curious about everything about him. He would probably never grow tired of talking to Hanbin about everything and nothing.
They must’ve fallen asleep in the stable at some point last night. Hao couldn’t remember, but he knew he had felt so comfortable and safe in Hanbin’s company that he hadn’t fought sleep much. He wondered if Hanbin had felt the same.
Hanbin, who was sleeping so peacefully next to him. Hao watched his side profile, the cute slope of his nose, his long eyelashes fanning against his cheeks, the way the sunbeams now painted his skin golden. Hanbin was beautiful.
All of a sudden, Hanbin’s peaceful expression shifted, nose scrunching up as he began wiggling against the hay. He kind of looked like a mouse.
He blinked a few times, apparently needing a few moments to orient himself. Then his eyes fell on Hao and a soft smile played on his lips.
“Good morning,” Hanbin muttered, voice rough from sleep.
It sent a shiver down Hao’s spine, who seemed to have lost his own voice.
Hanbin grinned at him, rolling onto his side to look at him properly. “What a sight to wake up to.”
Hao’s face flushed with heat and he quickly turned onto his back to stare at the ceiling instead. He ignored Hanbin’s giggle.
“Did you sleep well?” Hanbin asked him.
Hao peeked at him shyly. “Mhh,” he hummed. “You?”
“Can’t say this is the most comfortable bed I found myself in,” Hanbin replied jokingly, pulling a strand of hay out of his hair. He turned back to Hao with a wink. “But the company makes up for it.”
Hao whined, heart beating uncomfortably fast. He had enough of this! With a sudden rush of energy he pushed Hanbin down into the hay. Hanbin’s eyes widened with surprise as he found himself underneath him.
Hao sharpened his gaze. “Stop saying stuff like that!”
“What? You don’t like it?” Hanbin questioned, raising his eyebrows.
Hao frowned, frustrated. “Don’t say stuff you don’t mean.”
“Who said I didn’t mean it?”
Hao’s breath hitched. The everlasting teasing sparkle in Hanbin’s eyes made room for something softer. He didn’t fight it when Hanbin gently pushed himself up until they were both sitting up in front of each other.
Hanbin’s fingers felt rough against his skin when he reached out to caress over his cheeks.
“I meant it,” Hanbin confirmed for him. “Last night. Everything I said, I meant, too.”
Hao’s gaze was glued to Hanbin. There were sparks dancing where Hanbin was touching him, making his heart flutter wildly. He swallowed.
“Me too,” he admitted coyly. “I meant it, too. What I said yesterday.”
The corners of Hanbin’s mouth lifted. It was a tiny movement, but Hao caught in nonetheless. Perhaps because most of his attention was currently fixated on Hanbin’s lips that seemed dangerously close all of a sudden.
“Hao,” he felt Hanbin’s whisper more than he heard it, breaths mingling.
Hao didn’t know who leaned in first. The hand resting on his cheek traveled to the back of his head and suddenly he was falling forward again, meeting Hanbin’s eager lips as he was pulled closer.
A shower of adrenaline rushed through his entire body. He gasped, eyes falling shut as he captured Hanbin’s lips again. Just like his hands, they felt a little rough, but in the best way possible. They tasted sweet. It was addicting.
A breath left him as they fell back into the hay. He crawled over Hanbin, resting his hand on his shoulders, not wanting to separate so soon. Hanbin seemed to want the same thing, almost desperately tangling his hands into his hair, pulling him down closer and closer and closer.
Suddenly Hao’s world spun around as Hanbin rolled them over. The hay was itching his back, but he barely noticed it when Hanbin’s tongue licked over his lips. Hao gasped, feeling light-headed. Hanbin kissed him like he was suffocating and Hao was the air he so desperately craved.
Hao couldn’t remember when he had last been kissed like this. He hadn’t been. Nothing compared to the way Hanbin was tucking and biting and licking over his lips, making him want for so much more. His body felt like it was glowing.
“HANBIN! Are you- oh-”
Suddenly Hanbin was gone, so quickly it left Hao in a slight daze. He was breathing heavily, kissed senseless in every sense of the word.
“Gyuvin! What are you doing here?”
Hao had been so befuddled, he hadn’t even taken notice of who had interrupted them. Slowly, he sat up. Hanbin was awkwardly scratching his neck, looking at his little brother who had just barged into the stable. Hao felt his cheeks set aflame.
“You didn’t come home last night, so mom sent me looking for you this morning,” Gyuvin explained. After his initial shock, he seemed to recover quickly. A teasing grin not unlike Hanbin’s own spread on his features. “I’m sure she won’t mind some extra company for breakfast.”
His gaze flickered to Hao, who suddenly felt very self-conscious about his appearance and tried to flatten his hair and hide his probably swollen lips. Gyuvin laughed brightly, before running out of the stable.
“I…errr…should probably get going,” Hanbin said lamely, the rare sight of a pink flush adorning his face.
“Yeah. Me too. Ricky’s probably worried where I am,” Hao agreed, flustered by how breathless he sounded. His lips were still tingling. What had Sung Hanbin done to him?
After clearing his throat, Hanbin nodded to himself. Like a true gentleman, he helped Hao climb out of the hay, whose balance was already bad enough without having been kissed like that, stumbling over the uneven ground. His knees felt weak.
Once they made it out of the haystack, Hanbin let go of him, as if having burned himself. A surge of disappointment flooded Hao. Was he the only one feeling like this? Had Hanbin not wanted this as well? Was he already regretting it?
He watched as Hanbin pushed the heavy gate aside, walking outside first.
Hao’s heart sank. Were they really not gonna talk about it? Was that it?
However, after one step, Hanbin halted. He turned around on his heels, facing Hao with determination in his eyes.
“Tonight. At seven. I’ll pick you up. Okay?”
Hao needed a moment to comprehend but when he did, he couldn’t stop the smile forming on his lips. Slowly, he nodded.
He watched as Hanbin bit down on his lip, also unable to suppress a smile. Relief spread in Hao. Hanbin lingered for a moment longer, allowing himself to look at Hao just a second more.
Then he finally turned around, falling into a light jog as he crossed over the yard.
Hao laughed as he watched him, filled with happiness. He wanted to hug the whole world. He started walking towards his aunt’s farm. He supposed hugging Ricky would be good enough for a start.
Hao felt giddy the entire day. It reflected in his playing - Mozart’s cheeky little melodies flowing even lighter from his violin than usual. It caught onto Sunhee as well who went over the hard passages a lot smoother than yesterday. As a duo they made the piece come alive like they never had before. Hao had never been so optimistic about an upcoming performance.
He bid goodbye to the girl around lunchtime, more than satisfied with the progress they had made today. If they kept this up their performance would be shining.
When Hao went to fix himself a snack in the kitchen, he was surprised to find Ricky waiting there for him. In spite of his first instinct, Hao had not yet disclosed to him what had caused his sudden lift in mood. But he supposed hiding it from his cousin was sort of impossible. Plus, he didn’t doubt Ricky already had an idea on his own after Hao had awkwardly muttered an excuse for where he had spent the last night. Especially since Ricky had been the one to send him off to see Hanbin in the first place.
“You want some?” Hao opened the conversation as he opened the fridge and pulled out a bowl of strawberries.
Ricky kept eyeing him as Hao washed and placed the strawberries in the middle of the table. Even as he picked one up and plopped it in his mouth, his eyes remained fixed on Hao.
“Okay, fine!” Hao gave in before Ricky could even start questioning him. Besides, he really needed to tell someone about this, otherwise he would combust. “Hanbin asked me out. I think?”
Ricky grinned, chewing his strawberry. “You think?”
“Well, he said he was gonna pick me up at seven today,” Hao explained, trying his best not to overthink. What if he had misunderstood after all? None of them had confirmed it was an actual official date…so…
“That’s the only thing he did this morning?” Ricky curled his eyebrow at him. The glint in his eyes was far too knowing for this to be an innocent question.
Hao felt his face heat up at the memory of what else Hanbin and him had done earlier in the stable.
“I…we…errr- how do you even-?” He stopped, giving Ricky a suspicious look. Then it clicked. “Gyuvin.”
Ricky chuckled. “According to him you were doing a lot more than talking.”
Hao groaned, hiding his face in his hands. Of course, Gyuvin could not keep anything to himself. Especially not in front of Ricky! The two of them seemed to share everything with each other.
Suddenly, Hao felt a little guilty for not telling Ricky right away what had happened. So Ricky had known all along. He peeked at his cousin in between his fingers.
“Are you…I mean…is that okay for you?” Hao asked quietly. “Hanbin and I?”
After all, Hanbin had been Ricky’s friend first. Although Hao wasn’t quite sure what he would do should his cousin disapprove of a possible relationship between them, he at least wanted to hear his feelings about it. He didn’t want to cause discomfort to Ricky or mess up the friend group he had grown up with.
“Why wouldn’t it be okay?” Ricky said, exasperated. “I’ve known you liked him before you even did. It was about time you made a move!”
Hao whined, but his heart felt a little lighter. “Just wanted to make sure. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or like…make it look like I’m taking over your friend group!”
Ricky rolled his eyes, but there was fondness in them. “I appreciate the thought. But I actually do think Hanbin and you would be great together,” Ricky told him. “And it’s your friend group as much as it is mine.”
For a second, Hao was left speechless, touched by Ricky’s words. He moved towards him, giving him that hug after all.
“Thank you,” he whispered into the embrace.
“Yeah, yeah,“ Ricky huffed, patting his back. “You said seven? Want me to style you?”
Hao pulled away, looking his cousin in the face, only to find nothing but genuine happiness there. “I would love nothing more.”
Seven couldn’t come fast enough for Hao, but time seemed to have slowed down just to spite him. He occupied himself with various tasks around the farm. When his aunt returned from her business trip she was surprised to find her house cleaner than she had left it.
Finally, evening came and with the help of Ricky, Hao got himself ready. Ten minutes before seven, Hao saw the familiar Sung family pick-up truck roll up to the farm from his window. Ignoring Ricky’s cackling, he basically sprinted down the stairs. He called out to his aunt to not wait for him with dinner, who only waved him off with an amused smirk on her lips.
Hao put on his shoes, grabbed the spare keys from the key holder and was out the door. Hanbin had just made it to their front porch, standing in front of the two steps leading up to the door. His eyes widened in surprise at Hao’s sudden appearance.
“You’re early,” Hao blurted out, regretting it right away.
“Sorry,” Hanbin still looked stunned.
His eyes traveled up and down his body and Hao awkwardly fidgeted with the sleeves of the shirt Ricky had picked out for him. It was a simple white one, tucked into jean shorts. He had also parted his hair differently today. Had it been a mistake to trust his cousin? Did he look ridiculous after all?
Hao had never been a particularly self-conscious person when it came to things like that, but something about Hanbin made him nervous. Being perceived by a person he actually cared about made him weirdly flustered.
Still, he crossed his arms in front of his chest petulantly. “What?”
That stopped Hanbin’s staring, who cleared his throat and looked to the side, face flushing pink. “Nothing!” He said quickly.
Hao waited, but when nothing more came out of Hanbin, he made his way down the two steps. “So? Where are we going?”
Hanbin seemed to collect himself for another moment, before looking at him again. His infamous smile was decorating his face.
“It’s a surprise,” Hanbin winked at him, unceremoniously grabbing him by his wrist and pulling him towards the truck.
He did that a lot, reaching for Hao and pulling him along. Strangely enough, Hao didn’t mind.
Always the perfect gentleman, Hanbin opened the car door for him first, before running around the car to climb behind the wheel. This time, when Hanbin started the car, one of Hao’s favorite girl groups was already being played through the speakers. Something fond swelled in his chest at the fact that Hanbin had remembered.
To his surprise, they did not drive for a long time. He had wondered where people went on dates out here. He wondered where Hanbin brought his dates. The next nice restaurant was a few towns over, but Hanbin didn’t take him there. Instead, they turned into a dirt road that led into a little forest area. The drive got a little shaky, but Hanbin managed the uneven road without problems.
Finally they slowed down, in what seemed like the middle of nowhere. A bit confused, Hao turned to look at Hanbin, who was only grinning. If he would’ve been with anyone else, this would’ve been the point where Hao would’ve questioned his sanity and if he’d just walked into a cheesy horror movie. They turned into a hidden passageway and suddenly, in between the trees, a small lake appeared.
The setting sun had turned the sky all shades of orange and pink, reflecting in the water that glowed beautifully underneath its light. Old oaks were surrounding the lake, hiding it from view. Only a small fisher house and a wooden dock alluded to people having discovered this place.
Hao had been so enthralled by the sight, he hadn’t even noticed Hanbin getting out of the car. Only when his door opened from outside did he realize that he had been left alone inside. He slithered out of his seat, walking around the car to get a proper view of the lake. The air was a little cooler here in the shade of the trees and it was even quieter than in their small town. It felt like an untouched piece of nature, a treasure of hidden magic and healing.
He turned around to look at Hanbin, who was watching him expectantly. “It’s beautiful,” Hao told him, smiling wildly.
Hanbin let out a relieved breath. It was kind of comforting to know he wasn’t the only one nervous about this. Now that the first tension had been resolved, Hanbin began smiling again.
He opened the backseat of the truck and got out a backpack.
“You wanna go for a swim?” Hanbin asked him, nodding towards the lake.
Hao had always loved the water - it was the one thing he didn’t like about the city. You could hardly find a quiet place to swim.
Hao pouted. “I didn’t bring anything to swim in.”
Hanbin only grinned. “Don’t worry, I got that covered.”
He pulled out two swim trunks and a bunch of fluffy towels from the backpack. Hao let out a surprised huff.
“So?” Hanbin asked again, holding out one pair of trunks towards him.
Hao laughed, accepting the offered clothes.
They changed on opposite sides of the car - because Hao wasn’t ready to see all of Hanbin yet and he sure as hell wasn’t ready for Hanbin to see all of that of him!
When he was done, he stepped around the truck with his other clothes clutched to his chest. Hanbin was already waiting for him with the backpack, so Hao quickly handed them to him to tuck away.
Even like this there was still a lot of skin exposed. More than Hao had ever seen of Hanbin. His eyes drifted down Hanbin’s naked chest, towards the familiar sight of the tattoo stitched across his collarbones. The golden light of the setting sun made Hanbin glow. He was gorgeous.
Hanbin cleared his throat again and Hao quickly focused his gaze on Hanbin’s face instead, a little embarrassed by having been caught staring.
“Ready?” Hanbin held out his hand again. This time, he waited for Hao to take it before pulling him towards the lake.
Hao felt the dirt press into his feet as they walked on the forest ground. His hand was tingling where Hanbin was holding it. The evening smelled of youth and adventure.
They stepped onto the dock, the wood contrastingly hard after the soft dirt. When they reached the edge, they stopped. Hao could see their reflection on the surface.
“We jump on three,” Hanbin told him.
Knowing this trick already from the hay bales, Hao didn’t wait for Hanbin to count. Instead he sucked in a deep breath and dragged Hanbin over the edge with him. He hoped Ricky would forgive him for ruining his hair.
The water engulfed him, cold and prickly on his skin. When they resurfaced, Hanbin spluttered out a mouthful of water. He looked like a frog with his blown out cheeks and Hao couldn’t help but giggle.
“That wasn’t fair!” Hanbin said, but his voice was turning into laughter as well.
Hao playfully stuck out his tongue. A moment later Hanbin was splashing in his direction. Hao squealed, diving under to get away from Hanbin, who immediately started chasing after him.
They swam after each other an entire lap until Hao’s lungs were burning and his muscles screaming in protest. He swam a little closer to the shore until his feet reached the ground. Hanbin followed after him, closing the distance and engulfing Hao from behind. He pulled him back into the water, pressed against his chest until his feet were floating again.
“Apologize or we’re going under!” Hanbin playfully threatened him, letting them sink a little.
Hao laughed, grabbing onto Hanbin’s arms. “I’m sorry!”
Hanbin’s hold loosened enough for him to turn around. It made Hanbin’s hands slip down to his waist and naturally Hao set his own hands around Hanbin’s neck.
Hanbin beamed at him and Hao watched, entranced as a pearl of water rolled down his temple. They floated together in the water for a while, letting the peaceful silence engulf them. Only when Hao started shivering did Hanbin swim them back towards the shore. He helped Hao out of the water, hands still slung around his waist, like it was the most natural place for him to hold him.
The sun had sunken below the treetops now and a breeze was making the leaves bristle. With hurried steps Hanbin led them back to the truck. He first draped a big, fluffy towel over Hao’s shoulders, before reaching for the second one to rub himself dry. Hao enjoyed the comfort of the towel a little longer - now that the sun wasn’t blazing down anymore, it was actually a little fresh out here. Hanbin had already slipped his clothes back on, roughly rubbing his hair dry. He stopped when he saw Hao still comfortably wrapped in his towel.
A gentle smile grazed his lips as he walked over, using his own towel now to dry Hao’s hair. The sudden closeness made Hao flush, but Hanbin simply continued softly brushing through his hair. Hao could smell the scent of nature on him, could see the little moles decorating his face, could practically count his long lashes. He swallowed nervously.
Once Hanbin deemed his hair dry enough, he stepped back and Hao exhaled deeply. Being near Hanbin was exhilarating.
When Hanbin handed him his own clothes back, Hao quickly changed - otherwise Hanbin might decide to help him with that as well, and Hao for sure couldn’t handle that.
In the meantime, Hanbin had gotten another basket out of the pick-up truck. It was filled with pillows, blankets and what looked like all of Cafe Ludia’s most popular pastries. He spread the blankets onto the cargo area of the truck. Hao observed as Hanbin created a comfortable little space on the back of the truck. When he was done, he reached his hand out for Hao to help him climb up.
They settled down against the pillows and Hao eagerly wrapped himself up in one of the spare blankets. Like this, they could look out on the lake that now laid peacefully in front of them.
“Wow,” Hao breathed out. He couldn’t believe Hanbin had prepared all that. He had expected to go to that one restaurant, maybe going for a walk afterwards, or grabbing a drink at one of the local bars. Never had he imagined being brought here.
“Do you like it?” Hanbin asked him. He was smiling, but the hint of nervousness was back.
Hao gave him his brightest smile. “I love it,” he said, snuggling into his blanket. “How did you even find a place like this?”
Hanbin returned his smile. “Well, there’s only so much to see in town. You start exploring at some point. Can’t have all your dates at the same restaurant.”
“Do you bring all of your dates here?” Hao had meant the question to be teasing, playfully nudging Hanbin in his arm.
“Actually, I have never brought anyone here,” Hanbin said, a lot more tender than Hao had expected. “And my ex…well, I don’t think he would’ve liked it.”
“Oh,” Hao breathed out, suddenly feeling a bit embarrassed about having asked such a silly question.
Hanbin grimaced. “Sorry. I shouldn’t talk about my ex-boyfriend when I’m here with you. On our first date as well.”
“No!” Hao immediately protested, not wanting Hanbin to feel bad when he had been to one to bring it up. “No, I wanna know. If you wanna share.”
Hanbin turned to meet his eyes. “Are you sure?”
Hao had never been more sure. He wanted to know all of Hanbin, every tiny little detail. He nodded.
Hanbin sighed, leaning back against the truck.
“Well, let’s just say he was very controlling. I don’t think he liked me very much, to be honest. He always made me feel small, like I wasn’t good enough to deserve love. He said it so often, at one point I really started believing him. At the same time I was so afraid of leaving him, he was my first real relationship. It was…messy.”
Hanbin exhaled heavly.
“I brought him to see the town once and he hated everything about it. He found it…plain.” He paused. “In hindsight, I think he found me very plain as well and was trying to shape me into someone more interesting.”
Hearing the story, Hao was overcome with anger. Who in their right mind could meet Hanbin and think there was a single thing to change about him. Hanbin, who was kind beyond words, Hanbin, who was full of dreams and was not afraid to chase them. Hanbin, who was so deserving of love, Hao wanted to shower him with it.
As if sensing the sudden tension, Hanbin rolled his shoulders once. He smiled at Hao. “I’m over it, though. It’s been almost a year since we broke up.”
“That’s good. You should be,” Hao stated. “You deserve better.”
“Thanks,” Hanbin chuckled softly.
“And for the record,” Hao continued. “I think you are plenty interesting.”
He saw Hanbin bite down on his lip, a pink flush spreading on his cheeks and down his chest. He coughed, flustered.
“So, what about you then?” Hanbin asked, now turning the tables. “Where do you take your dates?”
Hao snorted. “The practice room.”
Hanbin co*cked his eyebrow. “Really?”
“Mhh, and then I coat them in rosin and play them all night long.”
Getting it now, Hanbin chortled. “You mean, you’re dating your violin?”
“With all the auditions and orchestra practices and classes and tutoring jobs, there is hardly time for anything else,” Hao disclosed honestly. “My mom always jokes that I'm married to my violin at this point.”
Hanbin laughed and the sound ironically reminded Hao of the sensation he got when he finally perfected a violin piece. It was nice and melodic and just right.
“The dates I did go on,” Hao added, thinking back of the few times someone had asked him out. “Well, they weren’t like this.”
There had never been a real connection. There had been attraction but never enough feelings to go along with that. Probably because Hao did not let enough time pass to develop any kind of feelings, meeting strangers in bars or cafes or clubs and going home disappointed and annoyed and so utterly alone.
There was never any care behind those dates, not like Hanbin had cared.
“For the record, you deserve this,” Hanbin said - and usually Hao would’ve argued: Back then he certainly hadn’t deserved it. But now…now he wanted to believe Hanbin. And so he did.
A comfortable silence settled between them as they looked into each other’s eyes. Two people so different and yet so alike. Like mirrors.
When Hao couldn’t take it anymore, afraid of what he might do should Hanbin continue to look at him like that, he blindly reached for any of the food Hanbin had brought.
His hands found a bowl with fresh grapes. He picked one up, holding it in front of Hanbin’s face.
“Say ‘Ah’”, he told him, effectively breaking the tension.
Hanbin raised his eyebrows at him, but Hao didn’t back off until Hanbin obediently opened his mouth to let Hao feed him. He chewed slowly, cheeks protruding slightly. It looked very cute. Like a hamster.
A second later, he found himself at the other end, Hanbin now holding a grape in front of him. Not wanting to back out, he accepted the fruit, lips tingling where Hanbin’s fingers grazed them. Maybe this hadn’t been the best idea after all. Now he wanted to kiss Hanbin even more.
They ended up feeding each other almost all of the dishes Hanbin had brought. If Hao wasn’t so utterly besotted with Hanbin, he might’ve cringed at the cheesiness of it. But there was no one around, only them and the setting sun and so he let himself have this. Naturally, they had shuffled closer to each other as they ate. Hao’s blanket was now draped across Hanbin’s lap as well, shoulders touching as they sat together.
Again, they found themselves talking for hours and hours, no end to the conversations they held. Hao had never talked as much with someone in his life probably, except for maybe his mother.
When the sun had fully sat, they were basically laying on top of each other, having leaned back against the pillows more comfortably when they had been done eating. Hao had his head settled near Hanbin’s shoulder, who had his hands wrapped around his middle, holding him close and warm against his body. Together they watched the stars and moon appear on the night sky, shining and blinking down on them, promising of unknown galaxies and fulfilled dreams.
Their voices had gotten quieter now, matching the calmness of the night, until they fell completely silent. Again, Hao wished for the night to last forever, so that Hanbin could keep holding him until his arms went numb.
However, when a yawn left him, Hanbin began shuffling in the pillows.
“We should probably head back,” he said. “If we fall asleep here, we will both end up sick by tomorrow morning.”
Hao wanted to whine in protest, he was perfectly warm and comfortable snuggled against Hanbin in his blanket, but he knew Hanbin was right. Reluctantly, he sat up, stretching his arms once and yawning a second time. He was quite tired.
Hanbin gently helped him jump down the cargo area of the truck, quickly cleaning up after them and throwing everything into the backseat.
The drive back was filled with soft music and Hao felt his heart hum along. Tonight had been magical. If anyone had told him a few months ago he would be taken out on a date like this, he would’ve never believed it. But Hanbin had made it possible.
Hanbin, who made him so ridiculously happy. Happy, happy, happy, happy. His heart was filled with joy, so much joy. It was singing with joy. It would’ve been overwhelming if it had been anyone else. But it was Hanbin and he knew, Hanbin would always keep him safe. In a way, he had found a safe space in Hanbin, somewhere he could always go and know he would be welcome.
Far too soon they reached his aunt’s farm again. Hanbin parked the truck and Hao already dreaded the moment that they had to separate. Again, Hanbin was quicker than him, having gotten out of the car and run around to open his door for him. This time, however, he did not step away as Hao climbed outside. He pushed the car door shut behind him and promptly backed Hao up against it, two hands placed next to his head, effectively caging him in.
Hao’s breath got caught in his throat as he noticed Hanbin’s intense gaze on him. All fatigue had faded from his bones. He was wide awake, adrenaline pumping through his veins. Flashes of this morning popped in his head, of how Hanbin’s lips had felt against his own. It felt like forever ago since that happened.
“Hao…I-” Hanbin’s voice sounded a bit strained, face only inches away from Hao’s. “I really like you. Like a lot. I’m crazy about you, actually. I keep thinking about you all day and then at night, too.”
Hao had not expected a confession this vulnerable. The feelings implied between them had been so clear for him, but hearing Hanbin say it out loud felt unreal. Everything about this felt unreal. Like one of Hao’s wildest dreams come true. Dreams he had never been brave enough to chase.
“I like you, too,” Hao told him in response, heart pounding. He had never confessed to someone before. The vulnerability was scary and had never felt worth it until now. “I like you a lot.”
Hanbin exhaled shakily and then started smiling, as if that much hadn’t been obvious. It looked like he wanted to pull away now, but Hao quickly grabbed the front of his shirt, keeping him in place.
Hanbin gave him a confused look.
“Aren’t you going to kiss me?” Hao asked him. Despite not being shy of his request, he was glad that the darkness of the night would hide his blushing cheeks. Especially when Hanbin started grinning smugly.
“I don’t know, should I?” Hanbin asked teasingly.
“You should,” Hao said, after all he knew how to get what he wanted. And he really wanted Hanbin to kiss him.
Hanbin laughed sweetly, but just as expected, did as Hao wanted and leaned in.
At first, the touch was shy, tender, barely more than a breeze of air. Then Hanbin laughed again, before pressing him into the car with much more vigor. There was a hand in his hair and one on the small of his back and there was a tongue licking over the seams of his lips and Hao gasped for air. His hold on Hanbin’s shirt tightened, pulling him impossibly closer against his body.
He was breathless when Hanbin broke away. His lips were swollen and his pupils blown wide. Hao’s entire body felt hot at the sight of a kissed Hanbin, knowing that he had kissed him.
Hanbin giggled, softly pressing another peck against Hao’s lips, before pulling away for good. Hao swallowed, feeling a little dazed after that.
“Need me to walk you to the door?” Hanbin asked him, that teasing glint back in his eyes.
Hao huffed, pushing against Hanbin’s chest, even though his legs felt a little weak after that kiss. “I’ll be fine!”
Hanbin laughed and the sound made Hao want to kiss him all over again. Probably best he headed inside now.
He walked past Hanbin to their porch. When he got his keys out to unlock the door, he turned around once last time. Hanbin was still standing by the truck, watching him.
Hao’s heart filled with adoration.
The next morning Hao woke up to a message from Matthew in the group chat, summoning them all for a meeting in Cafe Ludia in the afternoon. Directly underneath the notification was another one from Hanbin, asking him if he had slept well. Hao smiled like a fool as he opened that one first. He was glad Ricky couldn’t see him right now. When Hao had returned last night, he and his aunt kept throwing him teasing looks, like they knew exactly what - or rather who - had kept Hao up so long.
After texting back, Hao got out of bed to start his day. There was a lot on his schedule. The fundraiser was only two weeks away now and he had a practice session with Sunhee and also promised Taerae to listen in on the band rehearsal after that. Now with the meeting on top of that, there was no time to waste! His heart did a little jump at the fact that meeting at the cafe meant getting to see Hanbin again as well.
Ignoring Ricky’s comments about how glowing he looked this morning, Hao gobbled down his breakfast pancakes. His aunt seemed to have a little mercy on him as she made Ricky take care of the dishes before heading out to work.
“I’ll see you later!” Hao told his cousin who was still scrubbing pans in the kitchen. He had his violin case strapped to his back as he would meet up with Sunhee at her place today.
“Mhhh,” Ricky grumbled. “If you can tear your gaze away from Hanbin, you mean.”
Hao flicked some of the sink water at him in retaliation as Ricky cackled.
“Sorry, I meant if you can tear your lips away from Hanbin!”
Hao did not have to endure this teasing! Deciding to take the flight option, he rushed out the door.
Sunhee and him managed to play through the whole piece today, with only minor mistakes to correct before working on intonations. Hao felt positive they could accomplish nice harmonies until the fundraiser. They headed to the band practice together afterwards.
Taerae and his band had also been practicing a few new songs. ‘Crowd favorites’ as Taerae assured him as he tuned his guitar. They did well with their rehearsal, so Hao didn’t have much feedback to give. Still, he appreciated that Taerae had invited him to hear his opinion. As Taerae worked in a garage and had no professional music background like Hao did, he had stressed how nice it was to get a real expert to hear them play. Hao had denied the compliments right away - he was far from an expert for country music as he was mostly trained in classical music. Taerae was probably a lot more well versed in what the band was playing, but even upon Hao’s denial Taerae insisted that he still valued his opinion, if not as a professional, then as a friend. Hao liked that even more.
He helped Taerae clean up the small practice room of the band, which was an old stable that Taerae had soundproofed in his freetime. Once again Hao found respect for Taerae, who had taken it in his own hands to make it possible to play music for kids even out here. Indeed, music was everywhere, inspired everywhere, even in this little town. Seeing someone so genuinely happy and carefree playing music opened Hao’s eyes to how he had treated music and his violin as a chore at times. It couldn’t be avoided, being a music major, having to practice even if he didn’t want to, too many solo auditions to put the instrument out of his hands for even a single day. Coming here, playing with Sunhee or the band, it was like he found the fun in music again, not only the pressure.
“Thanks for coming by today,” Taerae said, storing his guitar away before heading out together with Hao. “It’s really nice to get an outsider’s perspective.”
“Oh no, thanks for inviting me! Honestly, I didn’t feel like I was any help, you’re doing so well already,” Hao said, waiting for Taerae to lock the door.
Taerae chuckled kindly. “Well, it’s still nice you’re here. We were all young when you left, but I feel like this place has been missing something since then.”
“I-,” Hao wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He couldn’t remember much of Taerae from when they had been kids, but he could remember the feeling of having to leave his friends behind. “I think I missed it, too.”
Taerae gave him a fond smile. “Well, I hope that means you’ll come by more often then.”
Hao laughed. Had someone told him to come back here another time a few weeks ago, he would’ve rather eaten dirt. But now...
“I will.”
Taerae’s smile turned a little cheeky. “Good. Because I think someone would really miss you if you never came back.”
He nodded ahead to where Cafe Ludia was already appearing behind the corner. Hao’s face heated up. Gyuvin…
“Okay, what exactly did Gyuvin tell all of you about me and…” Hao stopped himself, too embarrassed to continue.
“Hanbin? Well, he spared us the details,” Taerae laughed, all teeth on display. “But honestly, it was quite obvious. We were all expecting it.”
“I…I don’t…I…we-” Hao’s face paled as he suspected the worst. “Matthew didn’t call this meeting because of Hanbin and me, did he?”
Taerae laughed even harder but Hao didn’t find this funny at all.
“No, no, don’t worry. He wanted to discuss something about the fundraiser,” Taerae finally calmed down enough to soothe his misery. “Though, it might be brought up.”
Hao groaned, hiding his face in his hands. If it wasn’t for Taerae putting a hand on his back and shoving him forward, he might’ve just turned around and headed home.
It wasn’t as bad as Hao had expected.
They were the last ones to arrive. Gyuvin was working the counter, but quickly clocked out when he saw them arrive. Totally coincidentally the seat next to Hanbin was left empty and Taerae very subtly pushed him towards it. Everybody was grinning as Hao sat down. Hao ignored it to greet Hanbin instead. Hanbin was smiling softly at him, although by how red his ears were, Hao suspected he had also been victim to a round of teasing prior to his arrival.
“Hey,” Hanbin breathed, hand naturally coming to rest on the back of Hao’s chair.
“Hi,” Hao breathed back, feeling a dust of pink rest on his cheeks as everybody was observing them.
Matthew loudly cleared his throat, grinning like a menace as he wiggled his eyebrows at Hanbin.
“Okay, now that everybody’s here, we can start,” he said and Hao was glad when the attention turned away from him and Hanbin. “I thought it would be good to do a status update on the fundraiser. Hanbin and I have been in contact with the mayor and from the town’s side, everything is good to go ahead. They set up an official bank account for the earnings, so everything will be legit.”
“Band practice is going well,” Taerae chimed in. “Sunhee and Hao are also doing great.”
“Me and the kids are also practicing,” Hanbin said and Hao could see his eyes sparkling. “Some parents even asked me to make the dance group a permanent thing.”
“Great, how is it looking in the decorations department?” Matthew directed a question to Ricky.
“Good. If you all help put them up in two weeks, there’ll be no problem,” Ricky replied. Hao had no doubts Ricky would turn the mountains of fabric into something stunning.
“We could actually also use some help,” Gunwook said. “Yujin and I are building a booth for the games. And we also still need to prepare the space for horseback riding. I asked a few neighbors who agreed to lend their horses for it.”
“I can help build stuff. We have lots of stuff at the garage,” Taerae offered.
“Me too,” Jiwoong added right away.
“And we can all help with the horseback riding track. We won’t need to do that anyway until maybe a few days before the fundraiser,” Hanbin said.
“Great, that would work,” Gunwook grinned. “Thanks!”
“If we’re on the topic of needing help,” Matthew said, making an awkward grimace. “I actually also do need some.”
“Sure, what’s up?” Hanbin asked.
“So, the mayor from the town over might’ve called me up because of some of the posters I put up,” Matthew started explaining.
Hanbin frowned at him. “What? Why?”
Matthew grinned guiltily. “Well, I might’ve put them up where I was not supposed to.”
Everybody groaned. “So? What now?” Gyuvin asked. “Are you being fined?”
“No! No, he was really nice. Just said we have to move them,” Matthew quickly reassured them. “Was actually very supportive of the fundraiser. Really nice man.”
“Then what do you need our help for?” Taerae asked him, confused.
“Because we need to move them today, otherwise he might no longer be so nice,” Matthew disclosed with an awkward smile.
Taerae rolled his eyes. “And why can’t you go?”
“Because Jiwoong and I need to go to the printers. Some of the posters were faulty and we need to get them refunded,” Matthew said.
“Let me guess, the deadline for that is also today,” Ricky sighed and Matthew made finger guns at him.
“Well, I’m working,” Gyuvin said, pointing to the counter where currently no customers were waiting.
“I’m actually working,” Taerae said. “My shift starts at four. I could only go tonight.”
Ricky also shook his head. “I’m busy with the decorations.”
“Hao and I can go,” Hanbin suddenly chimed in, nudging Hao in his shoulder. “Right?”
Hao startled a little at being addressed so suddenly, mainly listening so far. “Sure,” he agreed, spending more alone time with Hanbin was always fun. Even if it was cleaning up Matthew’s mess.
“Ouhhhh,” Matthew hooted at them and Hao almost immediately regretted doing this for him. “The power couple on a mission.”
Hao’s face flushed with heat and he saw Hanbin’s ear turn bright pink.
“Maybe someone should come with you to make sure you actually get the work done,” Ricky joined the teasing.
“Haha,” Hanbin said dryly. “I think we’ll be fine on our own.”
“One problem, though,” Gyuvin said. “Dad’s out with our car.”
But Hanbin seemed undeterred. “Don’t worry, we won’t need the car.”
“Alright then! Thank you guys!” Matthew clapped his hands. “That’s all from me. If you excuse us, we have a refund to get. Everybody back to work!”
He pulled Jiwoong up with him, who waved at the table as they left the cafe first.
Back to work it was.
When Hanbin had said they wouldn’t need his family’s car, he had assumed that Hanbin had thought of another car they could use instead.
How very wrong of him.
Shingiru neighed softly as Hao stared at her.
Hanbin was currently gathering everything they needed to saddle her. Ricky was watching them with a sh*t-eating grin, body drowned in fabric.
“Are you sure about this?” Hao asked Hanbin, who had put a holster and reins on Shingiru.
He was leading her outside of the stable, away from the other horses that were enjoying their afternoon rest.
Although the horses were standing in his aunt’s stable, neither her nor Ricky were riding them, too busy with all the other farmwork. They actually only owned a few of them, Shingiru included. The remaining ones were owned and taken care of by the local riding club, one of the few clubs this town offered. Hao had marginally taken notice of the mostly teenage girls running in and out of the stable to take out the horses for a ride, as the stable was actually pretty secluded from the farm house they all resided in. His aunt had explained the whole system of sharing ownership and renting horses to the club to him once, but Hao had not listened very carefully. He knew the horses were taken care of by someone else mostly, his aunt and Ricky only having to help maintain the stables.
As far as he knew though, Hanbin was not part of the riding club. He followed Hanbin outside, where he saddled Shingiru, eyeing him distrustfully.
“Can you even ride a horse?”
Hanbin snorted, giving Hao a look. “I’ve lived in this town for years. Trust me, everything you can do here, I did. Including riding horses.”
Well, that was good for Hanbin. Hao, however, had not ridden a horse since he must’ve been four years old. And someone else had held the reins for him back then.
“I’m not sure I can do this,” Hao voiced his concerns. “What if I fall?”
Hanbin gave him a gentle smile. “You won’t fall. We’ll be riding together, so I’ll make sure nothing happens to you.”
“Can she even carry both of us?” Hao tried one more excuse.
Hanbin laughed. “Don’t worry, she can carry much more,” he said, now having finished fastening the saddle. “You wanna get up first?”
He held his hand out for Hao. Hao felt his resistance melt away. Did he ever have a real choice when it was Hanbin asking?
Slowly Hanbin guided him to Shingiru. At least she was a horse Hao knew and liked. She had been his favorite even back as a child, when she had been a foal herself. She seemed to return his sympathy, standing perfectly still as Hao approached her.
“You place your foot here,” Hanbin showed him the stirrup. “And then you push yourself off the ground and pull yourself into the saddle. Okay?”
Hao nodded, although a bit hesitant. He placed his feet and hands where Hanbin had shown him. Suddenly, he felt a warm presence behind him and a strong set of hands on his waist.
“Don’t worry. I’ll help you,” Hanbin whispered into his ear and a pleasant shiver rushed down Hao’s spine.
He had to count to three in his head and inhale to concentrate on the task at hand and not get distracted by the familiar hold of Hanbin’s hands on his waist.
This time Hanbin actually counted to three for Hao to try and mount the horse. He jumped up with all his might and immediately Hanbin supported him from the ground, helping him up into the saddle. He swung his leg over Shingiru’s back and sat up straight.
He was a bit surprised to find himself up there unharmed. It had been easier than he thought.
Hanbin instructed him to shuffle back a little and Hao held onto the saddle as he made room. A second later Hanbin was sitting in front of him, having swung himself into the saddle with ease. He reached for Hao’s hands first, wrapping them around his middle so that Hao was holding on to him.
“Just hold tight and you won’t fall,” Hanbin told him once more.
Hao could practically hear the smirk in his voice. Playfully, he slapped Hanbin’s chest, but then he let himself settle comfortably against Hanbin’s back. Hanbin picked up the reins and gently clicked his tongue. With a bit of pressure from his thighs, Shingiru started moving.
Hanbin had not been lying about being able to ride horses. Shingiru followed all his commands like a little lamb. Soon they had left town and were trotting over the fields towards the next town.
Just like driving in a car next to Hanbin, Hao found himself feeling safe sitting on a horse behind him. Maybe it didn’t matter what they were doing. Maybe it was simply Hanbin that made him feel safe.
Soon Hanbin picked up the pace and they flew over the field tracks, Shingiru also delighted to be taken out on this ride. Hao held a little tighter onto Hanbin as the rocking got a little harsher, but he couldn’t help smiling. A tingling feeling of freedom had spread in his chest. He wondered, if he hadn’t left for the city, if he would’ve gone on rides like this all the time.
Hanbin’s laughter also carried through the wind and Hao could feel his chest vibrate underneath his fingers. Healing came in many different shapes and forms. Hao figured this might be one of them.
They slowed down once they reached the next town, Shingiru now strolling through the narrow streets. He heard Hanbin snort as they reached the townsquare.
“Matthew,” he sighed, guiding Shingiru towards the center, where a statue was covered in promotional posters.
Hao laughed as he saw it. How could Matthew have thought covering a statue in posters would be left uncommented?
Shaking his head, Hanbin stopped Shingiru, smoothly sliding off her back. Then he turned to Hao, who was still perched in the saddle. He was holding out his hands, clearly offering to catch him on his dismount.
Hao swallowed. The ground suddenly looked very far away. Probably not looking half as smooth as Hanbin he swung his leg around, sitting sideways. Hanbin’s hands were almost hovering over his thighs as he beamed up at him. Hao took a deep breath, closed his eyes and let his body drop forward.
Immediately he was caught by Hanbin’s strong arms, who carried him shortly, before softly putting his feet onto the ground.
“Thanks,” Hao muttered, still feeling a little breathless from the ride and the fall.
Hanbin only smiled, squeezing his waist once before letting go of him. Again Hao wished he hadn’t, that they could just keep holding each other.
They both turned to the statue, or well, what was left of it.
“Let’s do this then,” Hanbin rubbed his hands together, approaching the statue.
Hao followed. Matthew must’ve used some kind of superglue, because it took a while to return the statue to its former glory.
“Over there,” Hanbin pointed out the bulletin board, where a few other events were already advertised.
Together they put up the posters, discarding the rest that couldn’t be saved in the trash.
“We shouldn’t ever let Matthew be in charge of promotions again,” Hanbin commented as they were done. Shingiru had obediently waited for them, preening under the attention a few passerbys had gifted her with.
Hao giggled. “Well, at least it was very…effective?”
Hanbin snorted at Hao’s attempt to save Matthew’s questionable marketing strategies. He waited for Hao to approach Shingiru again, helping him back up. To his surprise, this time when Hanbin swung himself in the saddle, he was behind him.
“Oh,” Hao breathed out when Hanbin’s arms circled around his waist to hold onto the reins.
“Thought you might want to be in the front this time,” Hanbin said, placing his chin on Hao’s shoulder as he clicked his tongue to get Shingiru to start moving.
This time they rode much slower. When Hao pointed out their slow pace, Hanbin only grinned.
“I’m not in a particular hurry to get back to Gyuvin today,” he said. “Why? Are you?”
Hao could see Ricky’s teasing smile in his mind. He leaned back against Hanbin’s chest. “No. Not at all.”
He liked being alone with Hanbin, so he most certainly didn’t mind dragging their time together out. It almost felt like a moment out of a fairytale. The wide empty fields around them, birds chirping in the glow of the afternoon. Even the ever present smell of manure didn’t bother Hao anymore. He liked living in the city, the sights and events and the constant buzz - but this was nice too. He felt Hanbin’s sturdy chest against his back. Very nice.
“Hao,” Hanbin broke the peaceful silence between them first. “I’m sorry if this comes out of nowhere and I know we’ve not been going out for long, but Gyuvin sort of just ran when he caught us that morning and…well…you can totally say no! But…”
Hao did his best to turn around to look at Hanbin. It did not happen often that Hanbin got flustered, but this seemed to be one of the rare times. “What is it?” He asked, more than curious what had Hanbin rambling.
“My parents asked me to invite you for dinner. Tomorrow?” Hanbin finally got out.
Hao wasn’t sure what he had been expecting, but it hadn’t been that. His face felt hot.
“Gyuvin told your parents about…” Hao didn’t want to imagine that. He would feel mortified.
“No! No,” Hanbin quickly said and Hao exhaled relieved. “He just mentioned that you and I were…”
Hanbin’s voice quieted down again, but Hao’s heart was suddenly pounding with implication. That Hanbin and him were what? Seeing each other? Dating? Were they even? It’s been only two days since the kiss, one since the first date! They hadn’t really confirmed their relationship status after that. Was there even a relationship to begin with?
Hao knew Hanbin liked him and Hao liked Hanbin but…what if this wasn’t anything serious for Hanbin?
“That we were what?” He pressed on, really needing that answer. At least if he wanted to get some sleep tonight. If not he would lay awake all night, pondering how Hanbin saw him.
He felt Hanbin gulp behind him. It made him nervous.
“Well, Gyuvin said…you were my boyfriend,” Hanbin responded quietly.
Hao’s heart jumped. “Gyuvin said that?”
“Yeah,” Hanbin murmured. “But…I can tell my parents no. Just…when Gyuvin said that, they got all excited and…yeah, I understand if it’s weird.”
Hao’s heart sank. “Do you not…like it?”
“What?”
“Being boyfriends?”
For a while, Hanbin said nothing, only the sound of Shingiru’s hooves clattering on the grounds filling the silence. Hao felt like his entire body was hanging on by a thread that was about to snap from tension so heavy.
“I…really like it,” Hanbin admitted finally. He sounded uncharacteristically shy. “Do you?”
A swirl of butterflies set loose in Hao’s stomach.
“I like it, too,” Hao confirmed happily. In hindsight it had been ridiculous to worry. There was never anything to worry about when it came to Hanbin.
“Good,” Hanbin cleared his throat. “So, dinner? Tomorrow?”
Now that Hao really thought about it, dinner at Hanbin’s place sounded…nice. He had met Hanbin’s mother before, or course, with how often they met up at her cafe. She always greeted him warmly, just like she did all their friends. Hanbin’s father was still a little bit of a mystery. According to Hanbin, he worked remotely for an IT company, most days spent in his home office. Hao had only ever seen him in passing. Would they like him?
“Do I have to prepare for anything?” Hao questioned, biting down on his lips. “I’ve never done this before.”
Hanbin laughed sweetly behind him. “No. Just be yourself.”
That was possibly the worst advice Hao could’ve gotten, a notorious planner at best and a miserable perfectionist at worst. And lately, even understanding who he was has become a struggle. Although, with Hanbin by his side, it had gotten easier to manage. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.
“Okay. I’ll come,” Hao agreed and then shrieked in surprise when he felt Hanbin press a wet kiss to his cheek.
Shingiru neighed in shock at the sudden noise, but Hanbin only laughed. He lifted the reins and picked up the pace again before Hao could say anymore.
